We’re all just building the plane as we’re flying it…

I think there’s a totally natural tendency in our lives to give a lot of credit to the people we generally respect or regard as older or more experienced. Of course they deserve respect, but when I’m talking about “credit,” I think we assume they know what they’re doing. 

I know this is probably not groundbreaking for most of you, but it really hit home for me the other day and then again today…so I figured it was time to write about it. 

Whether these people are our parents, our managers, our teachers, or our spiritual leaders…no one has ALL the answers. No one has experienced ALL the scenarios that someone might encounter in life. ALL parents, managers, teachers, and spiritual leaders were once (and maybe continue to be) novices in their roles.

I used to get really frustrated at work because I didn’t understand why people made the decisions they made. Even when explained to me, it didn’t make practical sense for what was trying to be achieved. Well, maybe that person made a mistake and was trying to save face. Maybe it actually didn’t make sense. Or maybe it did make sense at the time for those specific circumstances, but doesn’t make sense anymore. Either way, it’s not my place to judge and assume these people should know better.

Some first time parents might coddle a baby when she cries. Some might leave the baby be so she can learn how to self-soothe. What’s the right approach? Who knows?! Books can teach us all kinds of things, but each child is different and so is each parent, as is each situation. 

We’re all just learning as we go along here. 

Today is Thanksgiving. This time of year, I start thinking deeply about the things I’m grateful for and I ponder my behavior and thoughts from the past. This topic of expectations of those I respect or whom society respects has been rearing its head more than normal. And as I thought about those around me, I also realized that I have been this person too. 

Of course, I have. I mean, we’re all just figuring it out as we go! 

I have been the first time manager who tries her best, but also feels like she misses the mark when a team member asks a question I should have obviously asked myself or know the answer to. I have been the sister and friend who thinks she knows better and gives advice that worked for me, but worked because of my personality and the specific set of circumstances in my life. I have been the teacher who thinks she knows what she’s teaching until one of her students asks a question that makes her doubt the entire lesson. 

But none of this is bad. This is how we grow. As long as we are open-minded, patient, and humble, this can be a really really good thing. 

So, as we’re hanging out with family and friends this season, forgive yourself and those around you for any missteps that have been made throughout your relationship with them. Give your boss the benefit of the doubt. Be grateful that they’re learning from you and you’re learning from them. And remember that we’re all just in different stages of growth. 

Happy Thanksgiving!